I feel as if the relationship between Octavia and Illian is frowned upon. I understand that it was super obvious from the beginning and it will probably never be what Linctavia was but I love the Illian character and I think that they are good for each other. I like what their relationship is and what it means
Unless Octavia is into necrophilia, her relationship with Ilian was not cheating. As for widow/er, I'd never presume to tell someone that they didn't wait long enough. Regardless, with 11 days left to live and no method for survival, people make choices they wouldn't at other times.