Board Thread:The 100 - Discussion/@comment-24.99.67.19-20140818170707/@comment-24.99.67.19-20140819084246

Thanks for the advice on posting. I considered making two paragraphs, but I wasn't sure if there was a space limit on the board. Also, I didn't plan that to be a title. It just came out that way. I'm not sure why.

Thanks for your reply. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that Finn "used" Clarke. Are you talking about the sex? Nothing I've seen about Finn would indicate that he's the type that would just use women. That's more who Bellamy is. Finn has demonstrated that he is a very sincere and sensitive person.

This is how I see the situation. These are teenagers. They're still growing up and exploring life. When Finn and Clarke meet, they become very attracted to each other. You don't plan something like that. It just happens. When I used the word "explore", I meant that experiencing new things, meeting new people, and forming new relationships is exactly what kids his age should be doing. This is how they find out who they are and what they really want. And they learn from their mistakes, as I'm sure Finn will, and become wiser.

Although having a girlfriend or boyfriend does require a measure of fidelity, Finn hadn't made a life long commitment to Raven in marriage. Because of circumstances on the ark, Finn's life changed, and his world expanded. He then met a new girl and found himself attracted to her. So he interacted with her, and went with the flow. I'm sure he didn't know initially where it would lead. He just followed his heart. He didn't deliberately set out to be unfaithful to Raven, or to deceive Clarke. In fact, he didn't really act on his feelings until he was convinced that Raven and everyone else on the ark were doomed. When he felt completely overwhelmed by the idea that they were forever cut off and alone, he set his feelings free and reached out to Clarke for intimacy, which she was all too willing to accommodate.

Looking back through the episodes, I honestly can't think of a time when telling Clarke about Raven would have naturally come up. There may have been the slightest bit of flurting, but Finn hadn't made any real romantic moves on Clarke. Their first romantic encounter was so spontaneous that even Finn didn't know that was going to happen. And as life has a way of throwing curves, Raven turned up out of no where, and Finn found himself in a very difficult position. He sincerely cared for Raven and felt a loyalty to her; yet, he couldn't deny his feelings for Clarke. That's how life is. . .messy.

You're right. Clarke had every right to be hurt. And you're right that forgiving is not always easy. But you do it, not because the person deserves it, but because he needs it. Clarke was aware of the circumstances that lead to her intimacy with Finn...what he believed about the ark and his despair. Wells never held a grudge against Clarke even though she wrongfully accused him and treated him with the worst contempt. His thoughts were always about what was best for her. That's what real love does. It forgives completely and unselfishly.

Raven, too, was unselfish. Your comments about her are right. Finn might have stayed by her side out of loyalty, but Raven knew that she would be trying to hold onto something that wasn't really there any more. When you love someone, you think of what makes them happy, and you let go.

Clarke has not been so generous. She was aware of the circumstances that led to her intimacy with Finn. Still, she was unrelenting. I don't think she was acting out of spite or even anger. I think she's afraid that he will hurt her again. That's something she will have to work out for herself. But I don't believe for one minute that she has let go of her love for Finn. When she thought he might die, she cried that she couldn't keep going without him. When Anya ordered Finn's death, Clarke threw everything she had into protesting. (It's worth noting, BTW, that Finn was more concerned about them hurting Clarke than he was about his own impending death. That was very telling.) Then when Clarke saw that Finn was still alive, she ran to him and embraced him in genuine relief and affection.

When Finn went off to get the coagulate for Raven, Clarke told him that she couldn't lose him again. When he returned unharmed, Clarke again ran to embrace him. And who can forget that look she gave him when she realized that he would not make it back to the drop ship. All of these things demonstrate that she still cares for him deeply. Yes, their main concern is survival, but sharing that need with someone else can give you strength and support. It also makes you more determined when the life of someone you love is involved. Plus, it can be a needed distraction. Clarke needs Finn. She's already admitted it. But you are so right that without trust a romantic relationship is doomed. So we'll have to see whether Clarke can overcome what ever it is that she can't seem to let go of and finally surrender herself to Finn. If she doesn't, it's Finn's heart that will be broken.